EDISI 30 : 7 JUNI 2004 (ENGLISH VERSION)

Husband Vs Wife

The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home. He walks into
the kitchen and immediately starts yelling: "CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! MORE
OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO
STICK!!! CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU
CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"
The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you
yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"
The husband calmly replies: "This is to show you what it feels like, when I
am driving and you sit next to me."

American Dr. Vs China Dr.

An American tourist goes on a trip to China.
While in China, he is very
sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom
all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the
States, he wakes one morning to
find his penis covered with bright green and
purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a
doctor. The doctor, never having
seen anything like this before, orders some tests
and tells the man to
return in two days for the results. The man
returns a couple of days later
and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you.
You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost
unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says:
"Well, give me a shot or
something and fix me up, doc".
The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no
known cure. We're going to
have to amputate your penis".
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not!
I want a second opinion".
The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go
ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese
doctor, figuring that he'll
know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and
proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian
VD. Vely lare disease".
The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I
already know that, but what
we can do? My American doctor wants to operate
and amputate my penis?"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and
laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta,
always want to opelate. Make more money, that
way. No need to opelate!"
"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.
"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no
worry! Wait two weeks. Dick alls
off by itself! You save money"

Woman Vs Doctor

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much
worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me.
When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw
my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty,
my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look
on my face!
What's WRONG with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then
calmly says:
"Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with
your eyesight...."

Doctor Vs Patient

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse
news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news
possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since
yesterday'.