EDISI 12 : 11 DESEMBER 2003 (ENGLISH VERSION)

MISUNDERSTANDING ?

What a woman says:"This place is a mess!

C'mon,you and I need to clean up,Your stuff is lying on the floor and

you'll have no clothes to wear.if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears:"blah, blah, blah, blah,

C'MONblah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

ON THE FLOORblah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!"

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I beshowing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

The Geography of a woman

Between the ages of 15 - 18 a woman is like China or Iran. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade, especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 she is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war or crisis but still be a desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost some battles and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction may be necessary...

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet, and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the climate may keep some people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 she is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past...

After 70, she becomes Egypt or Pakistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there...