EDISI 5 : 12 SEPTEMBER 2003

GETTING MARRIED

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad!
Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most
beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.
After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with
you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife
but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool
around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm
afraid you can't marry her."
William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started
dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced,
"Diane said yes! We're getting married in June."
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the
sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about
this."
William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.
"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married, "
he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my
half-sister."
His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he
says, dear. He's not really your father."



JET LI VS STEVEN SPIELBERG

Jet Li walked into a pub in New York with his pal. He says to his pal:
"Hey! That's Steven Spielberg over there! God, I wish he'll come over to
say "hi".
Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a punch on the nose. Li:
"Hey!! What's that for?!"
Spielberg : "You bloody Japanese killed my granddad when you bombed Pearl
Harbour!"
Li : "I'm not Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Spielberg : "Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, you're all the same!"
Spielberg walks back to the other side. Then Jet Li calmly walks over to
Spielberg and gives him a really heavy punch on the face.
Spielberg : "Hey! Wha' that's for..... !?!"
Li : "YOU BLOODY ASSHOLE! YOU SANK THE TITANIC!"
Spielberg : "No, I didn't, an iceberg sank the Titanic!"
Li : "Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you're all the same!"

VARIOUS ADULT JOKE

1) What is a KISS?

It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.

2) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?

2% eat.
3% smoke cigarettes.
4% take shower.
5% go to sleep.
86% get up and go back home to their wives.

3) Why is your dick better than a credit card?

1.Once spent recharges itself.
2.It is accepted worldwide.
3.You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.

4) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbors son has a
pen*s like a peanut!

MUM: You mean it's small?

LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!

5) A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.

The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?

MAN: No,I work in a condom factory and these are customer
COMPLAINTS.

6) Women top 5 lies:

5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!

7) What is the closest thing to a woman's period? Your SALARY...

It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come,
you are F----- !!!

8) Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied : The legs... because everynight I see my mum's legs
up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".

9) Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?

Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say "TONIGHT I WILL
EAT YOUR PUSSY".

10) MUM: Didn't I tell you if stranger touches your breast
say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP!

GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP!!!!"