EDISI 8 : 16 OKTOBER 2003 (ENGLISH VERSION)

Tearful Wife

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find hisyoung wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?"he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow."

Bad News and Good News

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when theSarge announces, "I've got good news and bad news. First, the good news. Todaywe're going to change our underwear."
The troops started cheering at the news."Now the bad news. Smith, you change with Jones. Andrews, you change with Murphy..."

Amazing Pills

Theres this woman and her and her husband's sex life wasn't doing that great. So she went to the doctor and the doctor gave her a bottle of pills and ordered her to put one pill into her husbands coffee every morning. So the first morning she does as the doctor said and that night the sex was great, so the next day she decides to put two pills in and instantly the husband is horny. Finally, on the thrid day she puts the whole bottle in and it's CRAZY, all day they just had sex. A couple of days later the doctor called to see how everything was going and a little boy answered the phone. The doctor asked, "How's your daddy been?" The boy answered, "Well, let's put it this way, my mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my ass hurts, and my dad's on the front porch saying Here Kitty Kitty Kitty"!!!

The "Bastard Bee"

A young couple went to a nude beach on a sunny day. They got rid of all their clothes and lay down.
Suddenly a bee flew into the woman's vagina, and as you all might guess it wasn't very pleasant!
So,they rushed to the nearest hospital where the local Doc tries to solve the problem. He suggested putting honey on the young man's penis and see if he could tempt the bee out.


But the young man didn't like the idea very much, so the Doc volunteered to do it in his place. The Doc had been trying to get the bee out for 5 min, amid much puffing and panting when the young man asked, "Why's it taking so long, Doc?"
The Doc replied "I've changed my mind! I've decided to drown the bastard instead!"

The Rubbers

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse.
She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "It's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?"
"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messing with my sons Jed and Luke."
She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay," she says.
After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says,
"Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"
They say, "Huh?"
She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers."
She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go it all night long.
Forty years later, Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.
Jed says, "You remember that blonde woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?"
"Yeah", says Luke, "I remember."
"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?"
"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."
"Me neither" says Jed, "Let's take these things off!"

The Dumber

The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says.. ."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I saw men with willies a lot bigger than daddy's!"
The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I just saw daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

The Doctor Suggestion

A couple was having trouble conceiving a child, so they went to a doctor. He examined them, and concluded that the problem was one of insufficient penetration. He suggested to the man that they try the rear-entry position. The man said, "What is that?"
The doctor replied, "Just watch the dogs and do like they do."
The man said, "My wife is very shy and she won't do that."
The doctor replied, "Try giving her a cocktail or two and she will lose all inhibition."
Some while later, the doctor met the man, pushing a baby carriage. "I see it worked!" the doctor said.
"Yes it did Doc, but now the problem is ... my wife is an alcoholic!"
"How did that happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well, every time we did it ... it took seven or eight drinks just to get her out into the front yard!"